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Posts Tagged ‘choice’

Healing restores the soul, but more importantly gives life to the spirit. 

Many times we are our own doorway to our healing.  We either welcome it in or we block it out. We were designed with a magnificent chance to uses what’s between our ears, the human brain. The mind, is a powerful tool. What we focus on becomes our strength.  Are we focusing on our blessings we have, the good, the positive things we see, the growth we see or are we focusing on the negative things, the stuff you are without, the progress you “have not” made?  Do you see dark or do you see light?  Image

Not only can our ‘mind focus’ change our direction, so does our tongue.  Our words have power and can create life or death.  Be aware of what you say, because you just might be the one that allows a disease to take root, but as for an advantage on the flip side, you can squander death!  Having said that, it can be a hard choice…. There comes a dying of ourselves and shaking off the old habits, a renewing of our minds, and almost always there will be a heart attitude adjustment that needs addressing. These can be minor or they can be a big shift.  Its different for each person and for each situation, but like we all know working out and building muscle and shedding fat comes pain and soreness…. There is pain in stretch-marks.

God gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.(Rom 4:17)  Do you believe it, will you receive it, will you walk in it, will you take part of it?

The doorway is up to you.

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Attitude, stance, angle, frame of mind, frame of reference, approach, way of looking, interpretation… These are all ways of saying the same thing, that of perspective.

We all need it and can’t possible be striped of it, unless we all go robot like in another dimension. Perspective is what makes everyone so different or alike.  What makes Bobby see the world this way and Sue see it that way? Perspective.  What it all boils down to is that perspective matters a great deal.  There are many factors that make up ones perspective. Childhood, parenting styles, trials, thoughts, emotions, failures, triumphs, you name it, and it probably played a significant part in the total factor.  So what’s the point you ask?

My point is this, how we view the world matters. How you view your neighbor matters, how you view your children, coworkers, a stranger on the street, or the bag lady all matter.  Because in the end, how we view people is how we treat them. Plain and simple.  If you view them with any quality that adds something to your life and with regard, you treat them with such.  If you don’t then well it’s all the same, they are treated justly.  This is why perspective matters.

There is another interesting thing about perspective, it can be a choice. A choice on how you view any one thing regardless of your pervious factors. That is why it’s called a perspective, a point of view of any such belief, or an opinion. How will you choose to react or not react? How will this choice affect another, it’s all a chain reaction steaming from one point of reference, that of perspective.  Lets just hope its more in focus than out.

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CHAPTER 2

 “The Message and The Messenger”

 

Kuge began getting weary. He was certain that he already walked by that stump and the same cherry colored flowers several times. Everything started to look the same, and his feet and back ached. He needed to get some rest. He sat down on the stump to gather his thoughts. It didn’t seem logical to him to keep walking past dark, although he had a feeling that he should. He sat for a moment longer to collect himself, but before he could get started down any trails of thought, a hummingbird flew past his face and hovered over by his left ear. Their eyes made brief contact. They stared at each other as Kuge noticed its greenish iridescence feathers glistening in the moonlight with a ruby head.

“ Always trust yourself.” The hummingbird said.

She hovered for a second longer and then zipped off without saying another word. Kuge wished he could tell his new friend ‘thank you’, but there was no time, she was gone. He held the words in his heart and on his mind. He continued on through the night till it was about three hours until sunrise. He thought this would allow him to get some rest and continue on after the sun rose. He found a large bush that had just enough space for him to crawl under. He gathered leaves and pine needles to blanket the ground, crawled in and fell fast asleep.

As the rusty cardinal sun lifted, it peaked through a hole in the bush, which landed a crimson kiss right on Kuge’s face. He rubbed his eyes, stretched and then sat up slowly.

Today is a new day, I must trust myself. He said to himself mumbling as he got to his feet. I can get past these woods.

“It’s too hard, you must return back.” Kuge heard a voice say in return.

He looked around and there was no one.

“If you fail, you cannot return.” The voice said.

Kuge listened and embraced these words as he saw the truth in them. He wondered if he should return home and forget this whole adventure in the first place. After all, he said to himself, I haven’t really even started. I only have been walking over night; there is no shame in that. I can return at any time as no one is making me do this, I am in control.

He started to walk back briskly as he wanted to put this whole thing behind him sooner than later. It was silly of him to go on this journey in the first place he concluded. I am only thirteen and who knows how long it will take me. My parents might be worried. I must return home. As Kuge continued to walk back in the direction he came from, the trees and the bushes started to all look different and new with a darker hue. As he continued, his body was beginning to ache and become tired. He needed to rest again. He sat on the dirt ground of the forest, leaned against the trunk of a tree, laid back his head and closed his eyes. He knew he was doing the right thing. Going back was the right decision.

“Yes you are right.” The voice said.

“Who’s there?” Asked Kuge, as he turned his head both ways to look, but only seeing the forest shadows.

“Its me, your friend Kabos.”

“Your not my friend, I don’t know you! Who are you and where did you come from?” Kuge emphatically replied.

“Kuge, I assure you, you have met me before, you just don’t remember.”

“Where are you?” Kuge insisted firmly.

“You will see me in time.” Answered Kabos.

All the new visitors he was getting lately were really starting to irritate Kuge. It all started with the oak tree Elon, the hummingbird and now Kabos. What will be next, he thought?  I just need to get home and forget this whole thing. When I am back in my familiar place, I will be safe. That’s where I belong. He thought to himself. He decided not to waste anymore time, and just get back on trail towards home. He must start before it gets too dark, this way he will find the right path that leads back. Kuge got up and started walking. Before long he noticed a storm off in the distance above the trees. This didn’t look good in any shape or form. He was not prepared nor did he need anymore delay. He continued in the direction his gut was telling him, even though he was headed right into the storm.

The clouds became darker and darker, as they grew and boiled with a black malicious intent. It’s voice spit venomous spittle that covered everything, creating a fast encroaching blackness. It raged and growled. The electrical discharge of high voltage shook and rattled everything within the ebony darkness. The bright flashes of light followed what erupted with fury, and in turn it increased its vexation with every occurrence. Kuge was huddled in a ball of timidity, soaking with the downpour of misplaced trust and dreams. His physique embodied what his soul was enduring. He didn’t know how much longer he could endure the coldness, the wet, the wind, the darkness, and the noise. He sat there shaking uncontrollably, as the rain fell in a constant stream off the branch above him, the tears streamed down his face. Several hours later, the noise began to slowly fade, and so did the rain. Soon after it stopped all together leaving behind a river of water flowing in all directions. Kuge was elated to know he endured the storm, but it didn’t help his soggy situation. The air was stiff, cold and breezy. It took a bite out of his skin each time it blew as Kuge shivered violently. Kuge knew he needed to get moving, as the activity and movement would make him warmer and help his blood flow. He started walking towards the break he saw in the clouds.

“That’s right, continue on home.” Said Kabos.

“Yes I know Kabos, I am going home.” Kuge said with a sarcastic tone.

Immediately as he came to a clearing in the trees, the wind began to pick up harder again as the dust began to stir. This was odd, after a huge rainstorm Kuge thought, but the whirlwind kept turning which then also sucked up other foreign particles. In the distance among the mist of clouds and earth, a vague figure started forming. It twists and turned, as it blew Kuge’s hair in all directions. He grabbed his wet hair in his right hand as he gazed in bewilderment. Was he really seeing what he thought he saw? An outline began to form and emerge in a shape of a buffalo. It wasn’t solid or rigid, but carried life, like a reflection of water. It moved with grace as the wind danced with sustained unison. It came closer, and then stopped about five feet in front of him, as the misty haze boiled all around. It spoke but as if it were a fixed statue, it’s body didn’t move, only its mouth.

“My name is Tethon. I am from a distant land, you have called me and now I have answered. I am your guide; do not be afraid for I will watch over you. But you must continue on.”

And just as he came, he left in the swirling of the wind and dust, trailing like smoke from a smoldering fire that soon faded and disappeared against the sky. Kuge lifted his right hand as to tell it, ‘don’t leave’ but it was too late. Kuge then sat motionless; trying to understand the vision his eyes just saw. Was any of this real, or was it all just a figment of his imagination? Interchangeably Kuge couldn’t help thinking perhaps this was like the stories Grandfather would speak about of his ancestors before. Which ever it was, Kuge was intrigued.

“Continue back home is what he meant.” The recognizable voice grumbled in return.

“Kabos?”

“Yes it is I, and that’s what he meant I am sure of it!”

“I don’t know, your are right, as it could be both ways, but to me it seemed that maybe he meant the journey forward.” Kuge replied.

“Well I don’t know what your thinking, cuz clearly he meant continue on back home like you were.” Kabos interjected.

Kuge had a feeling that he should continue on but the words from Kabos kept ringing in his ears. He didn’t know what to do. He grabbed his medicine bag, stuck his thumb and index finger in, and rubbed a few shavings of sage between them. As the sweet smell emerged reminding him as he did after all choose to begin this journey, and ending it is what he shall do. Kuge then knew what had to be done.

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Over these last few years, there has been several parts of me that have been ripped and torn which in turn, pleasantly fertilized me. I have observed a change within myself that for all I know has come ever so slowly. Perhaps it just wasn’t time, or I had thus far to arrive at the place I needed to be, or I  was just not yet ripe.  Whatever the reason for the cause is besides the point.  I am just elated to see a change, for a step that was different than before. I have much more to learn and many more places to go within the depths of my soul, as I ride the sprit. But I would like to allow myself to catalog my passage on my latest short but ‘not lacking any excitement’ journey.

I started to notice a change in my feelings first.  Particularly in the area of being sensitive and crying.  I am not one to do so that much and actually didn’t care for it.  I started noticing it more often and ruled out that it was merely a monthly thing. It was a connection to something much deeper and further into the depths of my soul that I was trying to gain access to for some time.  Somehow unbenawunced to me, I gained the access key and was standing right smack in the middle of the basement that I longed to obtain.  I locked the door and threw away the key many years before, promising never to return.  After some deep searching I realized what I done although a little late, and since have tried to find my way back in.  So many tries and so many fails never proved fruitful, until one beautiful crispy fall day.

I saw the strong reddish pinks and yellow orange glows in the sky, falling in a form of leaves at my feet. It then suddenly dawned on me that I was pass the door that imprisoned me absent for so long.  A delighted grin flashed across my face as I rode the ride further within.  Human feelings follow the same path as the will.  And in this, I believe the first access code came through the truth of my will. This breakthrough started with a crack in that wall.  I for so long, thought that I had relinquished over my will, the true fullness of it. However looking back, I in reality held on to some lingering tail-strings.

I have confidence in, that it wasn’t until when I trudged through the muck and the mire of my own heart that I found the true essence of where my will started and ended.  My spirit then realized that this was the next battlefield.  I wouldn’t be able to continue further until I had victory over releasing the separated strings I held onto in a death grip and allow them to merged back into my full complete will.

Since I wasn’t centered in my own will, these new flares of emotion talked me out of faith and into logic. While being in logic is where I then began to loose the sight of faith.  In the world were reason, rationality, common sense and systematic thought takes full reign, one is forever engaging in a war of relative.  It was then, that I finally grasped the concept, like truly understood the impression this was having on me.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times where logic is supreme, needed and very much welcomed. However when it comes to rationality ruling the will, sooner or later it will be snuffed out in a dead end.  God rarely works with a logical plan. Often he tells us things that do not make rational sense.  While it resonates with our inner spirit, it offends our subconscious minds.  Thus, rendering us at a stand off of allowing God to redirect our wills or operating out of our souls. Unfortunately I know this familiar place all too well.

It wasn’t until I stepped off the edge and did something that didn’t make any sense and quite frankly made me nervous,  was I then able to feel the talons that had a grip on me.  Sometimes the will uses our emotions, or sometimes our thinking gets an upgrade, and then there are times when its a power struggle between your will and Gods. It can take a number of these things to reach that place. However, whatever the case, it doesn’t really matter, just that you get there. Get to the place of fully offering your will to God.  God started on me with my will first, then through that he was allowed to renewed my mind, which got ahold of my emotions and then transformed me.

So in the end, what I seemed to notice was the emotional change first, but that was merely a ripple effect from the choices I made before.  A few years ago I overcame the struggle of my mind. A world of second guessing, not able to make decisions, having to be in the know and battling with myself from within. It wasn’t like I set out from the beginning to arrive here. Although it was a deliberate conscious effort on pointing my heart in the right direction.  If I never fully chose to allowed my will to be overtaken by God’s then I would have had an entirely different outcome.  I fully released my will, which then set recovery in motion.

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