Archive for the ‘Will’ Category

There’s something about a fighting spirit that can’t be quenched.  It pushed beyond any boundaries and limitations set before it.  It goes further than the will ever thought possible as it floats on the wings of the Human Spirit.  The willingness to push beyond the pain and do that one extra step, go one moment longer, train that much harder, go further, one second faster.  The never say die attitude, and by not quieting short or giving up can prevail far beyond the raw talent and ability one might posses. The human spirit of shier will and resolve can out weigh the best of them.  I would rather have a fighter with true grit and tenacity than someone who relies on their raw natural ability any day. Period.  Don’t give up and sell yourself short. Push yourself beyond the limits and see what awaits you….

Photos: AP/Getty

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 This is what births champions…

NEVER say die… Pressure does ‘indeed’ make us.. 

USA scores first, 90 seconds into the game with a cross into the box, Wambach gives trouble for two defenders and a deflection of their own defense causes a goal. Later with a foul on Wambach, Marta mad at the call yells in Abby’s face to get up, while fuming she even shoves the ref and perhaps even spits on Abby in disgust.  Marta trying to pull calls with whining, attempts to make something out of nothing instead of playing the ball. A red card is given on a clear challenge by Beuhler on Marta in the box in the second half, where Marta obviously flopped and was waiting and once again prying for a foul.  She gets the call for a PK and therefor the USA was forced to play down one player the rest of the game. All of the stadium in Dresden even knew it was a botched call and a blatant flop as every time Marta touched the ball from then on, ‘BOOs’ would roar and be heard from the crowd.

HOPE saves the mighty PK, only to be told it was encroaching, so she gets a yellow card.  They get to re-kick the PK even though she never came off her line!!!  Marta takes the next one, it goes in… They are tied 1-1 at end of regulation.  In overtime, Marta gets another goal by a flick across goal with a generous bounce. 2-1 Brazil.  With seconds only left of the match, Rapinoe assists the latest goal in all of World Cup history. (in stoppage time in the extra time (120+2). Rapinoes perfect cross into Wambach feeds her with a solid header into the net…goal.  Tied 2-2.  It will go to shoot out PK’s.  After 2 kicks each, its 2-2, Hope saves the third kick, and all we have to do is make last two shots.  We do!!! We are going onto the Semi-finals!!

After playing most of the second half down a man and also the extra 30, against one of the top contending teams of the tournament, we showed what it means to play all or nothing. It’s only fitting to finally end with a win on our terms, on our time and not have the blown calls dictate the final outcome of the match.

Even after the worst refereeing ever, (probably one of the worst in Women’s World Cup history), 12 years ago to the day, back in ’99, we went to PK’s and won (5-4) against China PR to win the finals.  So the fighting spirit of the USA and this team shall continue to fight once again.  Never quiet, never say never, never give up.  Pressure makes us indeed!!

We all need to boycott the flopping, below par sportsmanship and lack of class from some of the Brazilians (or any team for that matter) but especially from their star player, Marta. It shouldn’t matter how good you are, if you’re the best player in the world or the worst, if you are not going to play with class, your seat belongs on the sidelines!!! You taint the beautiful game.  I would say for a game that is supposed to be wonderful and great, the flopping, complaining, bad sportsmanship, and the botched refereeing, with all the uncalled for cards, and the on/off side missed calls; this game from the Brazilian side will go down as anything but BEAUTIFUL…

 In order to keep this game really ‘jogo bonito’, politics, corruption and payoffs must be left off the field and it has to be left up to the players to decide who’s better that day; period!

All photos thanks to AP/Getty


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I am not sure what’s all the ruckus is about.  Just about five minutes after coming into the second half, Rapinoe smashed a long drive whooshing by the goalie into the net from just outside the goal box.  In celebration she ran to the opposite corner and sang in the fuzzy pitchside microphone the line “Born in the USA” to Springsteen’s tune. Now some are saying that Americans don’t really truly understand the meaning of the song, and that the real meaning of the lyrics are about the war.  I am questioning just this though, what if Rapinoe just sang it for merely the fact of what she sang, She is PROUD to be born in the USA. Not signaling anything other than the fact that the Women’s National Team does indeed have something to be proud about, playing for a country, playing for a team, playing for yourself.  First coming off of a rocky start to qualify into the World Cup as well as playing as underdogs for a team that is actually labeled #1 in the world. They are playing for the honor and respect to wear the red white and blue on their sleeve, to show some reverence to the great nation that birthed them. There is nothing wrong with that….

Photos: AP, Getty Images

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 According to the dictionary, the Ego is a Latin word meaning “I“, cognate with the Greek “Εγώ (Ego)” meaning “I”, which is often used in English to mean the “self”, or “identity”.  From the earliest stages we discover the ego.  First a child becomes aware of his mother, the outside world. His senses touch, taste, hears, and sees outwards.  He sees the outside world. Then soon he becomes aware of his own body.  First his eyes are open to the “you” then in contrast he becomes aware of himself. This awareness is a reflection of what he sees. He is not aware of WHO he is, but simply what others think of him.  Through gratification, appreciation, love, and care he is satisfied and thus feels the weight of some significance. This is when a center ‘I’ is born.  This awareness can go both ways.  If the attention is negative, the ego is damaged and next time it will scratch and claw for a refill. Regenerating the cycle.

The real self can only be known through the false self.  Without darkness there would be no knowledge of light.  One has to pass through the ego to get to the true self.  This passage becomes the teacher of illusion and the passageways of teaching.  Steps upon steps, turn into hallways and many doors. In order to know the truth you must know which is untrue. Through this encounter you will engage with the true self.

The ego is of a social demand thats bestowed upon us; a by product of living in the world with others. Everybody reflects on everyone else, adding to each others egos. This reflection is at the center of the false self.  Society creates this fabrication which manages to prove to the child that this is his real self.  Therefore perpetuating the ego into a monster always needing to be feed, always wanting appreciation, recognition, attention, or a voice.  This easily then creates a beast in the abyss of our soul that the idea of who we are is in direct relation to how the world views us.  Society gives you your idea of who you are, they shape it and mold it, however this way of thinking is furthest from the truth.  You are your real self, you hold it, no one else. Everyone is on this journey of the ego, no one can escape it.

The journey of self discovery and owning your will. Not a jaunt of ones success, fake walls, image, status or value will do.  This is about connection of the real self to the soul.  We will all operate out of this valley, as everyone has a choice to pass through it or not.  Many never get to the point of self-awareness, some get stuck in the valley, and very few come out. This ‘passing through’ will be a point of chaos, and confusion, as the ego will lie, cheat, and try at all ways to con you into staying in submission.  This battle is a test. A trial of the soul. A test to see if your ‘will’ will allow your higher self to take the reins of your true self and not be tricked by the false center.  This is the best con ever, the best slide of hand ever seen, since you aren’t even aware of it occurring. You believe that this is your true center, not even aware of a second self operating as you are so disillusioned to believe that this is in fact your true self. Therefore, You MUST let the ego go. The world runs on tricks and everyone plays…
What the outside world thinks of us, can not be a reflection of who we are. Let your true inside reflect on the exterior. Wake up to its sneaky ways. I am now convinced that much destruction, vanity, waste, hurt and pain is created out of this false center, the elevated ego. It is a liar, a cheat and a swindler.  It betrays you everyday to survive, as it’s only objective is for protecting itself to sustain at all cost.

So what’s your ego saying to you?

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Chapter 3

“Insight of Another Existence”

Off in the distance Kuge could see a mountain rage that radiated and glowed in the sun. If he remembered correctly from his Grandfathers stories, these were ‘the Land of the unknown.’ However in front of that, sat the rock Elon spoke of as Da’abi, which Kuge was sure this was the same one. It stood tall and proud, projecting out an arm that appeared to point to something much larger than its physical reality. It was covered in a thin layer of snow. It had a pull all unto itself that beckoned everything in its surrounding radius. It sounded like waves from a radar that beeped in the inner soul. It wasn’t necessarily an audible sound, but it was surely felt, as it pulled and tugged at the inner marrow. The closer Kuge got, the stronger the pull became. He stepped closer and the air become crisp and bitter. Each breath cooled his lungs, which exhaled a blast of warm vapor in the air. He knew he was getting closer; he could feel it. Elon would be proud he thought.

“Why would he be proud, you aren’t even there yet?” The voice said mockingly.

“Kabos, I know that’s you, and until you show yourself, I am not listening to you.” Kuge said firmly.

“Kuge, I am afraid you already have.”

Kuge became irate and mad at Kabos claims. What right does Kabos have to talk to me like that he thought? What does he know? He hasn’t even shown his face yet, as he’s probably scared of me. Why, he is nothing to me. I do not need him….

“Yes you do need me, well I, I have all the answers.” Kabos interjected. “Kuge you hear me? I am right, I know. I know the true path!” He said more firmly and strong.

“Get behind me Kabos!” Kuge shouted. “Enough of you, and be no more!”

A view began to emerged which caught Kuge’s eyes. He was much closer now. He was practically right beneath Da’abi. He must have fought and argued with Kabos sometime to have traveled this far.

“This isn’t over.” Kabos voice said, as it faded away.

The air was frigid now, which rained frosty flakes of snow. The birthed goose bumped began to emerge on Kuge’s exposed skin that quivered him to the bone. However he knew it couldn’t be much longer, as the sight of his aim lay before him, which happened to distract his senses. He started to climbed the side of the rock. His hands barely able to grasp a hand hold. Every move was in agony, but he knew he must go on. He must get to the top. Everything was getting another blanket of snow that made the scene more mystical and magical.  It felt alive, raw and natural. The air vibrated with fervor and the electricity was pulling even harder. The last few feet were the hardest. Struggling for every breath and every ounce of strength, Kuge pulled himself over the edge that separated him from the top. As he laid their chest down catching his breath, he shouted in victory, I’ve made it! I am here!

As Kuge got his bearings, he placed his hands down to push himself up but saw his reflection in a frozen puddle of ice before him. As he wiped it to make it clearer, he stared, not sure what his eyes were registering was in fact real. He saw an older man. He looked around to make sure it wasn’t someone else’s reflection behind him. No one was there. He wiped the ice and looked again. Still not satisfied he looked down at his hands and feet. Sure enough they too were bigger and had the weathering of a middle age thirty something man. Was he dreaming, was this really real? Kuge stood up and just like before a white mist whirlwind erupted all around him. Sucking him upward like in a vortex of fervor, that invaded his soul. It captivated every ounce of him as the twisting and spiraling wind circulated. And precisely as it started, it ceased, lowering Kuge back down to the rock.

“Well done my son, you shall receive an additional name. I shall give you Myer Beval. But this is a secret, only you and I know. You shall never speak of it to anyone, however I shall speak of it to you.” The voice said.

“Myer Beval?” Asked Kuge.

“Yes, one who gives light like the wind.” The voice responded.

“Who are you?” Kuge insisted.

“You have met me before, many times, in many places, as I have many names.” The voice said with a soft kindness.

“Was this journey just a test then?”

“Everything is a test. You inspired much as well as inspired me. You fought for what you knew to be true, and didn’t deviate even in the face of disillusioned obstacles or trickery.”

“Trickery?” Questioned Kuge.

“Yes trickery. Kabos is a trickster. He was trying to own you.”

“Who is this Kabos then?”

“You are one in the same. You have won this journey. You chose to fight through and now you are awakened to what lies within. You now are aware of the false you.”

“I am Kabos? I don’t understand.” Kuge said impatiently while opening his palms to the sky.

“Myer Beval my son, the first name that was given to you was Kuge, meaning the ‘sound of the drum’. I put that in you, as in time you too will know these things.”

“Wait don’t go, how will I know? “ Kuge asked eagerly.

“Listen with your heart and you will hear. Look with your spirit and you will see. And don’t worry you will have plenty more times.” Said the voice in a stern but guiding tone that drifted off and then vanished.

Kuge closed his eyes and put his head in this left hand, as he sat cross-legged.  He began to sway, dazed with the weight and thought of the words spoken, his body slinked back flat against the rock. He opened his eyes and saw the branches of the oak. When his eyes registered what he saw he shot up from the grass startled. He looked around and realized it was where he drifted off to sleep not to long before.

“Elon?” He called out, pausing with the silence, and no reply. “Elon?’ He yelled again as he touched the oak.

Wait, was this all just a dream? Kuge glancing down at his hands and feet checking them, as they were back to normal. He scurried over to the edge of the river, and peered in. His youthful face glared back but with much less innocence. He grabbed his medicine pouch and reached inside, the sage he had before was gone! As he continued to feel around, his hand brushed up against something hard. What he found was an old arrow that would normally accompany a bow, with the initials K.M.B scribed in gold on the shaft, and on the opposite side of the shaft was a padded leather drumstick.

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 “The Message and The Messenger”


Kuge began getting weary. He was certain that he already walked by that stump and the same cherry colored flowers several times. Everything started to look the same, and his feet and back ached. He needed to get some rest. He sat down on the stump to gather his thoughts. It didn’t seem logical to him to keep walking past dark, although he had a feeling that he should. He sat for a moment longer to collect himself, but before he could get started down any trails of thought, a hummingbird flew past his face and hovered over by his left ear. Their eyes made brief contact. They stared at each other as Kuge noticed its greenish iridescence feathers glistening in the moonlight with a ruby head.

“ Always trust yourself.” The hummingbird said.

She hovered for a second longer and then zipped off without saying another word. Kuge wished he could tell his new friend ‘thank you’, but there was no time, she was gone. He held the words in his heart and on his mind. He continued on through the night till it was about three hours until sunrise. He thought this would allow him to get some rest and continue on after the sun rose. He found a large bush that had just enough space for him to crawl under. He gathered leaves and pine needles to blanket the ground, crawled in and fell fast asleep.

As the rusty cardinal sun lifted, it peaked through a hole in the bush, which landed a crimson kiss right on Kuge’s face. He rubbed his eyes, stretched and then sat up slowly.

Today is a new day, I must trust myself. He said to himself mumbling as he got to his feet. I can get past these woods.

“It’s too hard, you must return back.” Kuge heard a voice say in return.

He looked around and there was no one.

“If you fail, you cannot return.” The voice said.

Kuge listened and embraced these words as he saw the truth in them. He wondered if he should return home and forget this whole adventure in the first place. After all, he said to himself, I haven’t really even started. I only have been walking over night; there is no shame in that. I can return at any time as no one is making me do this, I am in control.

He started to walk back briskly as he wanted to put this whole thing behind him sooner than later. It was silly of him to go on this journey in the first place he concluded. I am only thirteen and who knows how long it will take me. My parents might be worried. I must return home. As Kuge continued to walk back in the direction he came from, the trees and the bushes started to all look different and new with a darker hue. As he continued, his body was beginning to ache and become tired. He needed to rest again. He sat on the dirt ground of the forest, leaned against the trunk of a tree, laid back his head and closed his eyes. He knew he was doing the right thing. Going back was the right decision.

“Yes you are right.” The voice said.

“Who’s there?” Asked Kuge, as he turned his head both ways to look, but only seeing the forest shadows.

“Its me, your friend Kabos.”

“Your not my friend, I don’t know you! Who are you and where did you come from?” Kuge emphatically replied.

“Kuge, I assure you, you have met me before, you just don’t remember.”

“Where are you?” Kuge insisted firmly.

“You will see me in time.” Answered Kabos.

All the new visitors he was getting lately were really starting to irritate Kuge. It all started with the oak tree Elon, the hummingbird and now Kabos. What will be next, he thought?  I just need to get home and forget this whole thing. When I am back in my familiar place, I will be safe. That’s where I belong. He thought to himself. He decided not to waste anymore time, and just get back on trail towards home. He must start before it gets too dark, this way he will find the right path that leads back. Kuge got up and started walking. Before long he noticed a storm off in the distance above the trees. This didn’t look good in any shape or form. He was not prepared nor did he need anymore delay. He continued in the direction his gut was telling him, even though he was headed right into the storm.

The clouds became darker and darker, as they grew and boiled with a black malicious intent. It’s voice spit venomous spittle that covered everything, creating a fast encroaching blackness. It raged and growled. The electrical discharge of high voltage shook and rattled everything within the ebony darkness. The bright flashes of light followed what erupted with fury, and in turn it increased its vexation with every occurrence. Kuge was huddled in a ball of timidity, soaking with the downpour of misplaced trust and dreams. His physique embodied what his soul was enduring. He didn’t know how much longer he could endure the coldness, the wet, the wind, the darkness, and the noise. He sat there shaking uncontrollably, as the rain fell in a constant stream off the branch above him, the tears streamed down his face. Several hours later, the noise began to slowly fade, and so did the rain. Soon after it stopped all together leaving behind a river of water flowing in all directions. Kuge was elated to know he endured the storm, but it didn’t help his soggy situation. The air was stiff, cold and breezy. It took a bite out of his skin each time it blew as Kuge shivered violently. Kuge knew he needed to get moving, as the activity and movement would make him warmer and help his blood flow. He started walking towards the break he saw in the clouds.

“That’s right, continue on home.” Said Kabos.

“Yes I know Kabos, I am going home.” Kuge said with a sarcastic tone.

Immediately as he came to a clearing in the trees, the wind began to pick up harder again as the dust began to stir. This was odd, after a huge rainstorm Kuge thought, but the whirlwind kept turning which then also sucked up other foreign particles. In the distance among the mist of clouds and earth, a vague figure started forming. It twists and turned, as it blew Kuge’s hair in all directions. He grabbed his wet hair in his right hand as he gazed in bewilderment. Was he really seeing what he thought he saw? An outline began to form and emerge in a shape of a buffalo. It wasn’t solid or rigid, but carried life, like a reflection of water. It moved with grace as the wind danced with sustained unison. It came closer, and then stopped about five feet in front of him, as the misty haze boiled all around. It spoke but as if it were a fixed statue, it’s body didn’t move, only its mouth.

“My name is Tethon. I am from a distant land, you have called me and now I have answered. I am your guide; do not be afraid for I will watch over you. But you must continue on.”

And just as he came, he left in the swirling of the wind and dust, trailing like smoke from a smoldering fire that soon faded and disappeared against the sky. Kuge lifted his right hand as to tell it, ‘don’t leave’ but it was too late. Kuge then sat motionless; trying to understand the vision his eyes just saw. Was any of this real, or was it all just a figment of his imagination? Interchangeably Kuge couldn’t help thinking perhaps this was like the stories Grandfather would speak about of his ancestors before. Which ever it was, Kuge was intrigued.

“Continue back home is what he meant.” The recognizable voice grumbled in return.


“Yes it is I, and that’s what he meant I am sure of it!”

“I don’t know, your are right, as it could be both ways, but to me it seemed that maybe he meant the journey forward.” Kuge replied.

“Well I don’t know what your thinking, cuz clearly he meant continue on back home like you were.” Kabos interjected.

Kuge had a feeling that he should continue on but the words from Kabos kept ringing in his ears. He didn’t know what to do. He grabbed his medicine bag, stuck his thumb and index finger in, and rubbed a few shavings of sage between them. As the sweet smell emerged reminding him as he did after all choose to begin this journey, and ending it is what he shall do. Kuge then knew what had to be done.

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“The birth of Inception”

Kuge was a timid boy, not yet the age of fourteen. Had dark olive skin, dark round eyes and was a little skinny for his frame. He always wore buckskin leggings with fringe, a breechcloth, and beaded moccasins. A long dark cotton sleeve shirt that had three buttons sat behind a beaded necklace with a medicine pouch of sage that hung down to the middle of this chest. His long black hair dancing in the wind with a brightly blue feather and a red piece of clothe wrapped around his forehead. His face radiated a brazen glare, while offering the innocent life of his youth.

His lengthy body sat down by the river under the shade of an old tree that planted half its size out of the bank. Sitting down, he set his moccasins aside and put his undersized feet in the water. The cold temperature shocked his skin but then strangely made him feel good. He lay back on the grass as it comforted him. Before long, he began to drift off…

The next thing he remembered was, visions streaming through the branches of the oak tree. The yellow summer sun trickled through the cracks of the new foliage growth offering life wherever it touched. It breathes, it moves, its alive. He pauses to see if this essence has a name, or would establish itself but it doesn’t speak. The leaves rustled as the southern wind blew in the gentle breeze, while the branches dance releasing the golden summer rays. His skin rose as the light seeped into his soul. “Breath” it said. Kuge startled as he opened his eyes, straining to scan where the voice was coming from, but couldn’t find the source. “Soak it in” The voice said again. He sat up and looked around a second time, a little bit more anxious than before, but still not finding it. Then as he gave up looking, and started to shift his weight back down, he felt a touch on his shoulder that shook him to his inner core.

He didn’t want to look to see what touched him, so he froze; but as curiosity got the best of him, he had to see what it was. He gasped as he realized it was a branch of the oak. He rubbed his eyes in disbelief, but to his surprise it was still there. He lifted his right hand towards the end of the sapling and laid his hand on the part touching his shoulder. Immediately when they converged, the sapling spoke.

“Elon” the tree said in a deep-seated tone. “My name is Elon.” 

He just stared at the tree. Not knowing where to look, or where the point of the voice was coming from. However, Kuge peculiarly had the sense that it knew more of him than he cared for it to know. As he stood up he asked,

 “What do you want from me?” Kuge asked with an unsettling feeling and a little quiver.

  Elon said in a cool calm voice, and peculiarly eerie, “You. I am here for you.”

  “What do you mean here for me?” Asked Kuge.

“I am here because of you. I am alive because of you. I grew because of you.”

Kuge’s mind started to race, and his heart started to pound faster.

What do you mean because of me?” He asked again.

Deflecting Kuge’s question, Elon shot back. “I want to invite you to stand on the rock.”

  “Wait a second, who sent you and what do you want? And what is this rock you talk about?”

    Elon spoke louder “I was never sent, I just was… and if you want to learn; some things can’t be answered, nor have a ready reply. If you wish to continue, it is your choice. But only you have the power to decide.”

Kuge shuffled his posture, stepped back, and waited a few seconds. His mind scurried in all different directions analyzing the magnitude of Elon’s proposal.

    After a few more tense seconds, Kuge added, “Well OK, fine….but where is this rock and if I get there, how will I know I am there and what do I do?”

  “ Breathe my son, if you accept this journey you need to relax, nothing comes in a hurry. You must let your mind be at ease. ­­The rock overlooks the valley, on the high place known as Da’abi.” As Elon points to the North and says ” Where the cleansing winds come from. When you get there, you will know.”

Kuge’s heart leaped at the idea of an adventure yet was scared of the unknown. Elon reached out his branch and nudged Kuge in the right direction. When the last leaf began to fall off Kuge shoulder, a chill ran down his spine.

Kuge stood there a moment longer, let out a sheepish sigh, turned one last time to Elon and gave a unsure half smile. He knew he could do it and he knew that he had it in him, but what he didn’t know, was what scared him.

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