Archive for June, 2011

What consists behind the walls of our masks?
If they could talk would they reveal what is hidden behind the past?

Would the memories speak of laughter and love of a daughter?
Or the wounds and pain of a forgotten slaughter?

Do they cherish the growth of a begotten generation?
Or do they improve the lives and honor of this once great nation?

If these walls were something of good memories,
then cherish them forever as eternal seeds.

If the walls of your shelter were something you rather forget,
please hear this out before you just let it sit.

Can you allow the past to surface and heal?
Would you sit down with your enemy for one last meal?

Can you move on and not let it eat you?
Will you choose to be one of the few?

There’s no use in it, to staying bitter.
As it spoils our minds and dirties our souls with litter.

If we stay locked behind these old walls forever.
We will never be able to cut the chains and sever.

We must let the past be buried where it lies,
move on, forget, and forgive the ties that bind.



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The women in the window, why does she stare out so?

Is she depressed, or full of heavy woes?

Has she captured serenity, or is this distress from a foe?

Has misfortune been her confidante, or is it thoughts of a Beau?

How long has it been, since she began?

Was it yesterday, last month or did it start with the loss of a friend?

The light trickled through the weathered pane,

landing gently across the pew, with a sun-kissed stain.

Her eyes gaze deeply, into the shimmer abyss.

Thinking beyond as her forehead and the window-glass kiss.

Grasping her necklace, with her hand on her heart.

The memories drifted and lingered far apart.

As radiance covered all that has been laid bare,

hovering and glowing with a gallant luster glare.

The outside view started to look much more enticing.

Will she go, or return with feelings that are abiding?

To stay or to go is the decision she must make, but standing still is not one to take.


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Look what I stumbled upon… It reminded me of the movie Braveheart in which young William Wallace gave a spear thistle to young Murron at a funeral.

According to a legend, an invading Norse army was attempting to sneak up at night upon a Scots army encampment. During this operation one barefoot Norseman had the misfortune to step upon a thistle, causing him to cry out in pain, thus alerting Scots to the presence of the Norse invaders. Some sources suggest the specific occasion was the Battle of Largs, which marked the beginning of the departure of the King Haakon IV (Haakon the Elder) of Norway who, having control of the Northern Isles and Hebrides, had harried the coast of the Kingdom of Scotland for some years.  -Wikipedia

Interesting enough is that thistles are prickly to protect them from plant eating herbivores; perhaps the Scots had their own organic protection as well.  🙂

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Bushidō means “the way of the warrior”, it’s used to describe a unique Japanese code of conduct followed by the samurai. This code is said to have emphasized virtues such as loyalty, honor, obedience, duty, filial piety, and self-sacrifice.

         Bushido Samurai Left: 1860’s. Photo: Felice Beaton

However, I see some of that same code not stopping there. Many cultures and fighters from all over the ancient world lived by similar codes or by other strict rules of conduct. To name a few include, the Mongols, Romans, Trojans, Nubian archers, Persians, Celtics, Vikings, Amazons, Comanche, Zulu, Barbarians, or the Ch’in warriors. Now you might be thinking, what? These warriors where thugs, murders, thiefs, bullies, or plunderers.  Well I am merely speaking on the conduct of the code amongst themselves, within their own ranks, as all civilizations conduct with others can be in question.  As these warriors fought for a plethora of causes, I will try to capture the ‘fight for the cause at all cost’ that they deemed fit and worthy, not the cause, as that will always have two sides.   I will discuss three, the likes of Spartans in Greece, The Ali’i Koa of the Hawaiian Islands, and the medieval knights templar of King Arthur and the round table. These three all carried similar ways like that of Bushido. Codes of loyalty, devotion and honor until death.

A Spartan would be specifically picked and then taken from his home at a very early age and trained in the ways of a warrior.  It was a very hard life, as when they reached the age of twelve, the training increased with more discipline and initiation. When reaching the age of twenty, they would be considered full warriors and deemed ready to join the Spartan army.  This army was known to be the strongest and considered almost untouchable. Through natural selection, training and the bond, the fighters that emerged were some of the most fearsome and efficient the world had to offer.

   Spartan from the movie ‘300’

For the Hawaiians, the most famous King was Kamehameha I (1758-1819), who unified the seven Hawaiian islands. His birth coincided with the appearance of Halley’s Comet, giving rise to a prophesy that he would one day rule. Ordered to be killed by his grandfather Alapai, he was secreted away in Waipio for five years. Returning after the death of his father Keoua, chief of Kohala, Kamehameha (meaning “The Lonely One”) was trained by his uncle King Kalani’opu’u in all the duties required of an ali’i-‘ai-moku (district chief). Kamehameha grew to become a skilled warrior, renowned for his valor, leadership and fierceness  in the battle in which Captain Cook was killed.  Another historic battle, was when Kamehameha sent a large fleet of war canoes to seize Maui and Molakai. In 1795, he then turned toward Oahu, dispatching an invasion fleet of 1200 canoes bearing more than 10,000 warriors. There, he faced the combined army of Kalanikupule and the Hawaiian chieftain Kaiana drawn up at the mouth of the Valley. The warriors of Oahu fled, as they reached the head of the valley, they were trapped with the 1,200 foot Nu’uanu Pali cliff at their backs. Kamehameha committed forward, and the advance literally pushed the Oahu warriors off the cliff to their deaths. –paraphrased from Chris Brantley (DBA IV/12C) 

-Nu’uanu Pali battle and the real Nu’uanu Pali lookout

King Arthur represented a man who was the embodiment of good against evil, light against dark, and that eternal, never-ending struggle between what is right and wrong. The Knights were expected to have the strength and skill to face the violent gruesome combat of the middle ages, yet subdue the aggressions with a chivalrous side.  A Knights code was more of a moral system that went far beyond the rules of combat. These qualities were idealized by the knighthood, such as honesty, courage, valor, honor, generosity, excellence, loyalty, purity, directness, and wisdom.

You see, I think in some form or another we all can trace our history back to one of the great warrior civilizations in history.  But what we need to hold on to most is the code that they lived by not the fighting, killing or battles. If we could grasp a tenth of what they breathed, perhaps this world would be better off.  If we could operate out of a fraction of faith, charity, justice, sagacity, prudence, resolution, truth, liberality, diligence, hope or virtue within our own lives; then perhaps we wouldn’t be focused on the next t.v show, the fashion trends, how your car looks, or if that hot guy at the bar gave you the right number. When are we going to start looking beyond ourselves, instead of only looking out for ourselves?  Perhaps we all need an injection of ‘the way of the warrior’ in all of us and we could learn a thing or two from the past.

I don’t know its just a crazy thought….


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 According to the dictionary, the Ego is a Latin word meaning “I“, cognate with the Greek “Εγώ (Ego)” meaning “I”, which is often used in English to mean the “self”, or “identity”.  From the earliest stages we discover the ego.  First a child becomes aware of his mother, the outside world. His senses touch, taste, hears, and sees outwards.  He sees the outside world. Then soon he becomes aware of his own body.  First his eyes are open to the “you” then in contrast he becomes aware of himself. This awareness is a reflection of what he sees. He is not aware of WHO he is, but simply what others think of him.  Through gratification, appreciation, love, and care he is satisfied and thus feels the weight of some significance. This is when a center ‘I’ is born.  This awareness can go both ways.  If the attention is negative, the ego is damaged and next time it will scratch and claw for a refill. Regenerating the cycle.

The real self can only be known through the false self.  Without darkness there would be no knowledge of light.  One has to pass through the ego to get to the true self.  This passage becomes the teacher of illusion and the passageways of teaching.  Steps upon steps, turn into hallways and many doors. In order to know the truth you must know which is untrue. Through this encounter you will engage with the true self.

The ego is of a social demand thats bestowed upon us; a by product of living in the world with others. Everybody reflects on everyone else, adding to each others egos. This reflection is at the center of the false self.  Society creates this fabrication which manages to prove to the child that this is his real self.  Therefore perpetuating the ego into a monster always needing to be feed, always wanting appreciation, recognition, attention, or a voice.  This easily then creates a beast in the abyss of our soul that the idea of who we are is in direct relation to how the world views us.  Society gives you your idea of who you are, they shape it and mold it, however this way of thinking is furthest from the truth.  You are your real self, you hold it, no one else. Everyone is on this journey of the ego, no one can escape it.

The journey of self discovery and owning your will. Not a jaunt of ones success, fake walls, image, status or value will do.  This is about connection of the real self to the soul.  We will all operate out of this valley, as everyone has a choice to pass through it or not.  Many never get to the point of self-awareness, some get stuck in the valley, and very few come out. This ‘passing through’ will be a point of chaos, and confusion, as the ego will lie, cheat, and try at all ways to con you into staying in submission.  This battle is a test. A trial of the soul. A test to see if your ‘will’ will allow your higher self to take the reins of your true self and not be tricked by the false center.  This is the best con ever, the best slide of hand ever seen, since you aren’t even aware of it occurring. You believe that this is your true center, not even aware of a second self operating as you are so disillusioned to believe that this is in fact your true self. Therefore, You MUST let the ego go. The world runs on tricks and everyone plays…
What the outside world thinks of us, can not be a reflection of who we are. Let your true inside reflect on the exterior. Wake up to its sneaky ways. I am now convinced that much destruction, vanity, waste, hurt and pain is created out of this false center, the elevated ego. It is a liar, a cheat and a swindler.  It betrays you everyday to survive, as it’s only objective is for protecting itself to sustain at all cost.

So what’s your ego saying to you?

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Chapter 3

“Insight of Another Existence”

Off in the distance Kuge could see a mountain rage that radiated and glowed in the sun. If he remembered correctly from his Grandfathers stories, these were ‘the Land of the unknown.’ However in front of that, sat the rock Elon spoke of as Da’abi, which Kuge was sure this was the same one. It stood tall and proud, projecting out an arm that appeared to point to something much larger than its physical reality. It was covered in a thin layer of snow. It had a pull all unto itself that beckoned everything in its surrounding radius. It sounded like waves from a radar that beeped in the inner soul. It wasn’t necessarily an audible sound, but it was surely felt, as it pulled and tugged at the inner marrow. The closer Kuge got, the stronger the pull became. He stepped closer and the air become crisp and bitter. Each breath cooled his lungs, which exhaled a blast of warm vapor in the air. He knew he was getting closer; he could feel it. Elon would be proud he thought.

“Why would he be proud, you aren’t even there yet?” The voice said mockingly.

“Kabos, I know that’s you, and until you show yourself, I am not listening to you.” Kuge said firmly.

“Kuge, I am afraid you already have.”

Kuge became irate and mad at Kabos claims. What right does Kabos have to talk to me like that he thought? What does he know? He hasn’t even shown his face yet, as he’s probably scared of me. Why, he is nothing to me. I do not need him….

“Yes you do need me, well I, I have all the answers.” Kabos interjected. “Kuge you hear me? I am right, I know. I know the true path!” He said more firmly and strong.

“Get behind me Kabos!” Kuge shouted. “Enough of you, and be no more!”

A view began to emerged which caught Kuge’s eyes. He was much closer now. He was practically right beneath Da’abi. He must have fought and argued with Kabos sometime to have traveled this far.

“This isn’t over.” Kabos voice said, as it faded away.

The air was frigid now, which rained frosty flakes of snow. The birthed goose bumped began to emerge on Kuge’s exposed skin that quivered him to the bone. However he knew it couldn’t be much longer, as the sight of his aim lay before him, which happened to distract his senses. He started to climbed the side of the rock. His hands barely able to grasp a hand hold. Every move was in agony, but he knew he must go on. He must get to the top. Everything was getting another blanket of snow that made the scene more mystical and magical.  It felt alive, raw and natural. The air vibrated with fervor and the electricity was pulling even harder. The last few feet were the hardest. Struggling for every breath and every ounce of strength, Kuge pulled himself over the edge that separated him from the top. As he laid their chest down catching his breath, he shouted in victory, I’ve made it! I am here!

As Kuge got his bearings, he placed his hands down to push himself up but saw his reflection in a frozen puddle of ice before him. As he wiped it to make it clearer, he stared, not sure what his eyes were registering was in fact real. He saw an older man. He looked around to make sure it wasn’t someone else’s reflection behind him. No one was there. He wiped the ice and looked again. Still not satisfied he looked down at his hands and feet. Sure enough they too were bigger and had the weathering of a middle age thirty something man. Was he dreaming, was this really real? Kuge stood up and just like before a white mist whirlwind erupted all around him. Sucking him upward like in a vortex of fervor, that invaded his soul. It captivated every ounce of him as the twisting and spiraling wind circulated. And precisely as it started, it ceased, lowering Kuge back down to the rock.

“Well done my son, you shall receive an additional name. I shall give you Myer Beval. But this is a secret, only you and I know. You shall never speak of it to anyone, however I shall speak of it to you.” The voice said.

“Myer Beval?” Asked Kuge.

“Yes, one who gives light like the wind.” The voice responded.

“Who are you?” Kuge insisted.

“You have met me before, many times, in many places, as I have many names.” The voice said with a soft kindness.

“Was this journey just a test then?”

“Everything is a test. You inspired much as well as inspired me. You fought for what you knew to be true, and didn’t deviate even in the face of disillusioned obstacles or trickery.”

“Trickery?” Questioned Kuge.

“Yes trickery. Kabos is a trickster. He was trying to own you.”

“Who is this Kabos then?”

“You are one in the same. You have won this journey. You chose to fight through and now you are awakened to what lies within. You now are aware of the false you.”

“I am Kabos? I don’t understand.” Kuge said impatiently while opening his palms to the sky.

“Myer Beval my son, the first name that was given to you was Kuge, meaning the ‘sound of the drum’. I put that in you, as in time you too will know these things.”

“Wait don’t go, how will I know? “ Kuge asked eagerly.

“Listen with your heart and you will hear. Look with your spirit and you will see. And don’t worry you will have plenty more times.” Said the voice in a stern but guiding tone that drifted off and then vanished.

Kuge closed his eyes and put his head in this left hand, as he sat cross-legged.  He began to sway, dazed with the weight and thought of the words spoken, his body slinked back flat against the rock. He opened his eyes and saw the branches of the oak. When his eyes registered what he saw he shot up from the grass startled. He looked around and realized it was where he drifted off to sleep not to long before.

“Elon?” He called out, pausing with the silence, and no reply. “Elon?’ He yelled again as he touched the oak.

Wait, was this all just a dream? Kuge glancing down at his hands and feet checking them, as they were back to normal. He scurried over to the edge of the river, and peered in. His youthful face glared back but with much less innocence. He grabbed his medicine pouch and reached inside, the sage he had before was gone! As he continued to feel around, his hand brushed up against something hard. What he found was an old arrow that would normally accompany a bow, with the initials K.M.B scribed in gold on the shaft, and on the opposite side of the shaft was a padded leather drumstick.

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