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Archive for April, 2011

Spanning over a period of many months I have been seeing several types of birds in the heron family; mostly Great Blue’s and Egrets.   When I go to the Northwest, I see several every time, if not one daily.  I then went to Costa Rica and boom, one again, saw him all day. When I was in Texas, another one was just right down the road from me. Before I never really saw them or at least was unaware of them. Its like they are instinctively pursuing me….. so it got me thinking….What do herons symbolize and what does this all mean to me?  So I looked it up, and found that usually all types of herons are associated with water, but they are non-swimming waterbirds that feed in lakes, rivers, swamps, ponds or the sea. They are highly mobile, and they usually migrate at night alone or in small groups.

To me they embody reflection as their image cogitates upon the surface of the water.  Thus, I am intrigued.  Think about it, non-swimming waterbirds…kinda has a cool ring to it don’t you think? Like ‘be in the world and not of it’…. Maybe we just need to come to the water for that ‘substance’ and then be on our way.  And speaking of water, well we know all forms of life cannot be sustainable without it. It is life giving. Period. It covers 70.9% of this planet’s surface while existing in three very distinct forms; as water represents the foundational trinity of existence. I love that parallel.  And to top it all off, I really like the idea of the secret ops, by partnering with the cover of the dark, and conducting movement as an ally.  Honestly, what secret mission isn’t in some form operated in the cover of the ‘night’?

It is speaking, will you listen?

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What if the sky reflected our souls?  What would your horizon look like? Would it be soiled and tethered? Would it be full of color and light?  Would the clouds move fast  or stay still? Would the clouds boil like water in a pot, or would they just be painted lightly against the sky? Would your compass be reflected right, or would the darkness cover the night? Sometimes I sit and wonder what the sky of my soul looks like.  When I see a storm, and rainbow, and funny cloud, sunset, or just the sky in it’s ordinary skin, I wonder if its reflecting the same thing in my soul.  I wonder if what my eyes are projecting back at me is really the same thing others see. What if the sky was like a projection of our inner self and it was relaying it back to us.  If some how we could partner with nature like it was intended and have that ultimate unity in the vision of creation then maybe we could literally paint the sky.

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The drama of the human condition comes solely from consciousness.  Of course, consciousness and its revelations allow us to create a better life for self and others, but the price we pay for that better life is high.  Its is not just the price of risk and danger and pain. It is the price of knowing risk, danger, and pain.  Worse even: it is the price of knowing what pleasure is and knowing when it’s missing or unattainable.  “The drama of the human condition thus comes from consciousness because it concerns knowledge obtained in a bargain that none of us struck: The cost of a better existence is the loss of innocence about that very existence. The feeling of what happens is the answer to a question we never asked, and it is also the coin in a Faustian bargain that we could never have negotiated.”    -Antonio Damasio from his book’The Feeling of What Happens’

This makes me think, you can’t have what you aren’t willing to loose.  You know that classic statement about love. For us to ever experience anything worth attainable we have to be willing to loose it. And in so, if we remain naive and want to stay in our own denial of reality, we will never attain the cost of the better reality.  If we dwindle our reserves and swindle with the masses of the status quo, we then are willing to sacrifice anything to satisfy a limitless desire for knowledge or power. Thus comes the FALL…..

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This is a stand in for the real 'Annabelle'

Oh Annabelle… was a faithful friend

I could see it in her eyes…

she would of stayed till the end.

But we had to take her back,

on over the hill, the sound gave her a chill

then she was gone, back on her track….

After seeing that, a veil was lifted and  I realized I haven’t been a faithful friend like I thought I perceived all along.  I disillusioned myself thinking I was but mistakenly wasn’t. What I am saying can be on many different levels for many different things but all hold true to a curtain degree.  On this particular point, I would say I have done a below par job on loyalty.  I see that I have been more faithful to some than I should be to ONE thing that matters. Not directly intentional, but then again maybe since I wasn’t living fully like I always say I do, You know the whole ‘relentless commitment’ speal.  I would keep interested for a time, do all the right things but eventually wonder onto other things with my time.  Something never clicked inside of me until I saw her eyes.  I have seen many like it in the past, but this time it was unlike any before. As I ponder back and see her eyes, I know that I haven’t looked that way to HIm in a very long time.  I lost something, something that I must regain.  I must recover whatever that is before it all gets carried away. Carried away and lost forever.

As I look back, I choose at times not to follow my best friend, I got side tracked and off course, the course of my heart.  I looked the other way and lost sight of the light.  And when I did that, thats when the ball started rolling.  I am talking about a fraction of the meter, but FRANKLY it makes all the difference…… I haven”t went wild or crazy, changing my morals or anything, but its my love for Him that faltered. I took him for granted.  It’s like a compass and if the needle is at all off the mark, you will end up not at your desired destination.  My choices were off the mark!

Ironically, having said all of this, I do find solace in the fact that hopefully this time, I will learn my lesson. Now that I am aware of it and accountable, I have no excuses.  Perhaps this to me was the same like the dog, I am able to get back on my path, where I should have been all along.  This is like a allegory of my heart.  The dog was loyal but not to his master.  I was doing my own thing, wondering and got off mark, loyal to others things, but not the ONE TRUE THING THAT MATTERED!!!!

So….Don’t get sidetracked,  don’t get bitter, don’t get lazy. Don’t let man, or anything else faulter your friendship with the only ONE that really matters.

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